GRACES UNNOTICED

Allow me to show gratitude for...

Those blessings already existing; 

those I'm yet to recognize; 

those disguised as a test; 

those I didn't know I needed;

those exactly like my prayers;

those denied as protection;

those gifted as redirections;

those withheld a little longer;

those not destined my way;

those already on the way; 

those yet to become; 

and all that there is.

Let me be thankful for them all.

– Fadhila M.

IN DEPTH

Ya Shāfī… Ya Jabbār...

Heal and Mend me in places that I didn't realise needed healing and places I didn't know were already broken. 

When I think of Jabbār... I recall its diverse literal translations that do not give full justice to its Essence. I see mending, fixing and putting back (broken or misaligned) pieces back in place. I think of the word "compelling”... and I couple them both together.

In simple terms, it's Him pushing your healing forward whether you desire it or not. He compels you to heal and also mends your deficiencies... your brokenness... your shattering... your faith. Because sometimes, we delay our healing process unintentionally. We often halt it, thinking it might be the best we have yet or worse... the only one. And because He compels and mends in unimagined ways... gradually, we find ourselves moving past the difficult circumstances that we assume might take months, years or lifetimes to… (whether we actually like it or not). It's not an option left at our disposal. We find ourselves moving with our hearts to better places and healthier mindsets. 

That's the power of His Mending, and that's the gift of His Compelling. He compels and forces you to heal. He fixes your broken heart because He knows you are ready and there's something greater, of goodness and warm consolations, stored out for you in wholeness... with Him.

– Fadhila M.

PRECISELY FOR YOU

(worth the wait.)

There are things in life that are worth the wait...

and require deliberation in their pursuit,

irrespective of the duration of time taken. 

Some things are just too valuable and 

full of worth to miss out on... due to haste.

But if you are graced enough, sometimes...

these blessings eagerly seek you, find you

and welcomely arrive at your doorstep.

They do so because you've always ignited 

and nested an unrelenting conviction in 

the Ever-Giver of Favours... the very Owner

and Subjugator of the entire growing universe.

It is an absolute honour to wait on God...

for His Perfect Timing and Flawless Redirections.

He is never too early or late... but chooses to

advance or delay at a rate that paints beautifully

on the colourful canvas of your life's story...

your unique unfolding. 

– Fadhila M.

THE REVERED HOLY MONTH

Ramadhān, being the blessed, healing month that it is, brings out the utmost tenderness in us.

Something softens in us, and the heart becomes beautifully receptive to sincere reminders. It becomes a vehicle for good deeds; we feel peace and serenity in our souls... the kind that's calm, consistent and composed. We learn to slowly tame the innermost selves, our raging desires... because the more we pursue and engage in sincere deeds with truthful actions, the more tranquillity we attain. The more we become undeniably closer and more beloved to the Creator of existence… the absolute Source and Giver of Peace.

May this gifted peace remain long-standing, even after the departure of this fast-paced season. May we cherish and revel in its every moment that is both transformative and life-changing.. and may its soothing effects reign highly in our hearts, in our entire lives… enough to carry us through with each passage of time.

– Fadhila M.

THE GIFT OF YIELDING

There's nothing that feels more liberating in this entire world than surrender... not to any human but to God. The total surrender of outcomes, of pain, losses, confusions, possibilities, shatterings, and the whole of you to Him. Yes, you are responsible for your actions, for doing the ultimate best you can, as much as you can. But the relief that comes with surrender is something beyond. Knowing there isn't any form of untiring strength or greater force out there than the One that vividly created and fashioned you... and gave you the very heart that relentlessly beats in you. Who knows every feeling, every pulsation and every emotion, with anything you could ever think of that actively runs through the fragile human mind.

So may your every single action be guided by His Light, and may your heart know surrender... utter peace, and continue to relish in it... even in the most unexpected moments of living, even if nothing else changes around you.

– Fadhila M.

LIFE TRIALS ARE NOT WITHOUT MEANING

I was internalising our roles in life-changing tests in our lives. Every trial has a tendency for the revolution and transformation of our characters... our greater purpose. The real test is how we choose to perceive it all. How we intend to learn from what is directed our way. Do we choose to look within and see where we fell short, or where there were cracks with inconsistent lapses... or at least where we could have done better? Do we choose to be better, higher than what we were before... our comfortable selves? Do we value growth over stagnation... over strong-held ego, or do we comfortably blame outer circumstances... or worse, other people for our unavoidable trials and pain? 

Every pain has a potential for profound improvement, for progressive betterment... even if others are partly responsible for it. We hold the individual reins, which is a hallmark of gain and of gentle steps of expansion towards the blossoming of our unique essence… when we bravely learn to truly face our hidden actual selves. When we learn to see our direct role, our stronger standpoint in shaping who and what we are. After all, the treasure of it all is to already be better than who we were yesterday.

– Fadhila M.

PURITY OF INTENT

I swear by Allāh, there's nothing that beats sincerity of heart with truthfulness of emotions. Where you lie bare, emotionally exposed, broken, bankrupted, and shattered, and you know deep down you have no refuge besides Allāh. You have no saviour and no source of solace but in Him. He then races to your aid. He deploys forces for your circumstances and shifts events to fit your situations exactly as they are... specifically woven just for you. He clears the way for you and provides an outlet. He cements the entire structure and sets the foundation straight on your behalf. 

This is what true humility and pure conviction of heart unceasingly do to a person. It showers firmness, steadfastness... the type that anchors… the type that beautifully transforms… even if part of the wisdom remains physically veiled from worldly sights. But it's something blissful that continues to abide within.

– Fadhila M.

THE PREORDAINED WALK

You can have something in the closest of proximities and almost yours (but still not written or destined for you), because it's precisely a major lesson and a substantial part of your story.

And you can have something in the farthest range, far from reach (and it will still find its way to you), because it's always been your decree. It has long been your bigger portion.

So Ya Allāh, do not tire us in search of what has never been our fate. Do not let us dwell on what isn't meant to be a section or segment of our sustenance... our finer evolvements, in any thriving era of our lives. 

– Fadhila M.

FUNDAMENTAL BREAKTHROUGH

Ask your Lord to grant you a grand purpose, meaning and alignment as you patiently await His unblemished unfoldings. It's what makes it all bearable during any waiting season. And know that every single occurrence in life must run its specified course... up until we are sculpted into versions that God intends us to be... into receptacles deemed fit to receive those countless divine interventions... and largely into ideal vessels, significantly capable enough of holding in these Godly offerings.

– Fadhila M.

WHAT I'VE ALWAYS NEEDED WAS DEEP-SEATED!

I'm a lover to my core. And when I care... I genuinely do, beyond compare. I remember little details about you that you never even have to mention. I carefully read between the lines. I acknowledge your vulnerabilities, with your likes and dislikes and create a cozy, secure atmosphere for you... for who you are. I see beyond the superficial... the depths. I pay attention to what matters to you and often check where you need tending... from time to time. I pick up silent cues and build a safe voice for them. I offer a care that is bottomless, that is wholehearted... you never have to question whether you're truly supported or cared for. 

So I don't think an ordinary or half-hearted lukewarm love is what I'm made for. I don't think a careless or lightweight affection is what I'm boldly shaped for. This type would only drop, break, and fragilely crumble under the weight of my depths... my deliberate intensities.

– Fadhila M.